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(8 pages on Microsoft Word)
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Skateboarding is one of the most unique and skillful sports yet it is a way of life that changes one's perspective on the world. Stairs aren't for walking down, and rails aren't for assisted-walking. Only a soul skateboarder comprehends these fanatics.
In a world filled with so many scooters, it's hard to feel control over anything that is going on in the world. However, there is complete and total control over that board…well, most of the time.
Alright, to get into the vast knowledge of such a difficult sport there are things you must know first. Before learning the secrets to skateboarding, one must make sure their intentions are on the up-and-up. Furthermore, one can develop an immunity to the police despite the rumor that skateboarding is illegal. However, beware of breaking real laws like the ones of physics.
Skateboarding is cool. That's the problem with 95% of skaters. Statistically, the sport will never progress due to everyone dying from it. This is where I lead into my first secret: The fundamentals of being cool come internally. If one is not cool without a skateboard then one is not an actual skateboarder. One would be a poser. Moreover, if one is not cool with a helmet on then one is a poser. Now one can see all these skaters are copying others without their independent style.
The next trick I have is no tricks. There was a point in history when skateboarders didn't do anything except surf. Old-school skaters are more respected then new-school skaters even though there was far less technicality. Furthermore, due to the inseparable amount of commitment for a less advanced sport lead the sport to become what it is today.
Most new-school skaters today quit and get mad, especially ones who suck. What needs to happen is developing a strong sixth sense of the skateboard. The board becomes part of one's body, but not like in snowboarding. What exactly does this mean? One will have to find out on their own.
By now one has probably mastered the kickflip through the process of obtaining this deep enlightenment. If not, then that's okay. Reread until one does. Everyone needs a push. When there isn't a push to get better then all the tricks are stationary.
Competition is what drives development. Deep down one needs to ask themselves, "why am I skateboarding instead of bmxing?"
Bmx is too hard
Bmx is too easy
One would hope to god one chose the right answer.
Now that the statistics are present, there is an understanding of why bmxers respect skaters.
The next tip is having a reality check. El Toro is not that impressive. It is an overrated staircase. What is impressive is El Toronto. If someone gaps the provincial capital of Canada, like hell they'd be in the newspaper.
Limited thinking is what kept skaters from doing double backflips. The breach of thinking between what is limited and what can be done is called insanity. Therefore, smoke some Cannabidiol, and get going on your way to the next high point of skateboarding.
Now that everyone is high I would recommend drawing a picture of what you feel using colors. When you come down to reality you can look at that picture and think this is what I need to do to progress in skateboarding. If the picture is not what you want after coming down then maybe inline skating is for you.
Different sports require different energies which is why there are skaters that think they're gangsters. They're not gangsters, but let them pretend. If it gets them going to ollie down the curb then maybe they're onto something.
Skateboarding is about imagination and physics. Most skaters hate being nerds which is why we purposely get D's on the assignments in middle school. The fact of the matter is we are too smart for school because we can levitate a board like Yoda. May the force of friction be with you.
So far, we've got the triple backflip down, but we've haven't learned the lazer flip. This is where the dark side of the force comes into hand. You have to convert from the ‘ight side of the force to the dark side of the force, and use the lightning force. Beware though, you can die.
Every skater has some sort of secondary random hobby or skill. Some skaters collect paperclips, others have jobs, and mine is I can bmx. If one doesn't have a second hobby then that means there will be nothing to talk about with others at the skatepark. A separable difference between skate park fun is talking rather than skating. One may think talking is a waste of time when we should all be skating. Wrong. We talk about how to do new tricks and coach each other.
Alright, at this point it is imaginable one would want to get sponsored. Sponsorship is the equivalent of getting a college degree in the skate world. It is equivalent to being as educated as to the common man with an associate in rocket science, only better.
Sophistication is key. That's why we level up our skate 3 video game character to hard mode while keeping cool when we beat the other player in a game of 1 up. For every mistake, our character grows. For every fall, we get a laugh out of our character. This is how one unlocks all the achievements in the game, through their character.
On a serious note, you can throw away all that mumble-jumble. A real sponsorship means you get paid, as well as skateboard. Now, who wouldn’t want to skateboard? One is already half-way there. Sponsors like skateboarding, although some like snowboarding. Therefore, do both and you'll notice your skills in both will increase. You'll have a higher chance of getting sponsored if you try out a million different sports because I bet someone will be watching you.
In the end, don’t give up on your skateboard. Keep progressing and pushing yourself with the board. Just because your skateboard purposely injures you doesn’t mean he’s your enemy. Your skateboard is in fact your greatest friend. Skateboards are made out of wood which means it gives you the ability to breathe. Therefore, skateboard equals life!
About the Author
I was born on the bank after the hospital flipped and no-complied on us. I was on a 50-50 decision on where I should land so I Japan Aired the Alpha plane. I started skating like a caveman with his first firecracker. Eventually I went pro and I’m here to give people tips so they can overturn their 9-to-5 job to Pull up with me.
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